This questionably SFW mollusk is the world’s largest clam, and it is also the mascot of the school at which I now work.
- It’s called a geoduck.
- It is, however, pronounced gooey-duck.
- Individually, they will outlive you or I. This geoduck was born before I was born, and will die after I die.
- I’m told that it was chosen as the school’s mascot at least partially because of it’s phallic appearance.
- This claim is backed up by the school’s euphemistic motto of “Let it all hang out,” which in polite company refers to the fact that the animal can’t fit into its shell.
- This is the third weird mascot I’ve been associated with through educational institutions:
- The toreador is the mascot of Boone High School, where I graduated.
- The antelope (or “loper”) is the mascot of the University of Nebraska at Kearney, where I went to college.
- And now the geoduck, where I currently work.
What about the Arbor Day Tree Fucker?